Thursday 21 September 2023 | 6 Rabi Al Awwal 1445 AH

Parenting Seminar By The Tabligh Board

On Sheikh Hilli’s recommendations from the Ramadhan lectures, TB saw the need to hold a parenting seminar to address the mounting challenges faced by children. The seminar was conducted by four speakers, Dr. Imran Hassam a pediatrician highlighted the stress that children are under. Much of the stress, he stated ‘was inflicted by high expectations and punishing schedules.
Mrs. Tahsin Sheriff, a teacher who works closely with children in Almuntazir primary school talked about the four C’s of parenting with a special emphasis on consistency, she dished lots of practical tips. Sheikh Shirazi, an expert on child upbringing, covered the stages of Islamic tarbiyah. He pointed out the importance of investing in these stages and the detriment of not doing so. Lastly Shk. Zishan spoke about the importance of attachment as the basis of all a child’s learning.
The event was held on a Sunday and the turnout was less than expected, a grand total of 23 participants. TB is hopeful that these type of programs will pick up traction in the future.

Hadith of the Holy Prophet (s) says “The child is the master for seven years; and a slave for
seven years and a vizier for seven year; so if he grows into a good character within 21 years,
well and good; otherwise leave him alone because you have discharged your responsibility
before Allah.”

If Muslim parents want to train their children to be pious and religious then it’s very important to
do it in a balanced way, keeping in mind and practicing on this above mentioned tradition. If
young children (under 7 yrs) are brought to mosque by force and they are made to sit still for
long time, not allowed to play around, it will create a backlash in the future and the child may
end disliking coming mosque. Keeping the age of the child in mind, the parents instead of
forcing the child to come to mosque should make going to the mosque a fun activity and joyful
to the child, give some incentives so the child wants to come to the mosque. Similarly, during
the age of under 7 yrs, the child must not be forced to learn languages or memorize Quran,
because when the child is forced he/she feels as if they are in prison and when they move to
Western countries they rebel. Therefore training the child (under 7 yrs) in a balanced way
requires the parents to encourage the child and not force them. From age 8yrs to 14yrs, this is
the golden time to inculcate the spirit of obedience in the soul of the child. The way to do that is
not to be commanding or using anger and authority over them, (though the hadith says they are
slaves), rather by taking help from the seerah of the Holy Prophet (s) and the 8th imam’s (a)
behavior towards the slaves. They treated them with good manner and respect. The parent can
talk to the child, advice the child, explain the pros and cons of an action to the child, but let the
child make the final decision. If the child is not making the right decision the parent can
command him/her but with respect and good manners, or by indirect methods (like each parent
makes a recommendation concerning the other parent). Moreover, though the child can be
taught through words, but sometimes the child learns through the actions of the parents (like
when the child sees the parent weeping while reciting dua kumayl, the child learns about the
spiritual pleasures), and sometimes the child learns through silence (like when parents don’t
speak a certain word, then child learns that word is not appropriate)